What do YOU think about this blog?
My childhood friend and I went on a 55 kilometres bike ride to Hölick, a small fishing village in a nature reserve, out by the coast of where we live. It was a beautiful day, green and blossoming with scents of early summer flowers (occasionally obscured by the odour of animal dung) and a bright blue sky, albeit with moderate sunshine. We had picnic on the cliffs, to the sound of waves lapping gently against the rocks.
On our bikes home, riding uphill, my friend asked about this blog. She was curious about why I write and for whom? With panting effort I tried to explain that I mainly write for myself, as a way to grapple what goes on in my head and hopefully find meaning to what I do. It’s like I throw myself out, to be able to catch myself. It gives me peace, somehow. I have been keeping journals since I was 12, but blogging is different. I put more effort into it and I like the challenge of writing in English.
I tried to tell her, that I write about things that are valuable to me. Self reflecting and maybe a little spiritual, but not too much, so that I lose myself in it. I guess I don’t consider my old friends being interested in what I write. At least, they never tell me so.
Her question had me thinking (we did bike for a good 4 hours so there was plenty of time to ponder). I have been feeling a little off with the writing lately.
When I starting the blog I was inspired from all angles. The beauty of Cape Town’s mountains and oceans every day, the energy of the people and the smiles and the good food and the happiness and our inspirational talks under a limitless sky of possibilities. I was experiencing a life out of the ordinary. I felt on top of my world and I wanted to share to everyone what it was like.
Since I got home, well, I’ve been struggling with finding that feeling again. It comes to me sometimes when I am running and the smell of spruce and pine and fresh timber reminds me that this is where I come from, but that I can go as far as I want. It also comes to me when I read about extraordinary life experiences and people that have committed to their waves. It most certainly came to me on my flight home from the States. I was physically and emotionally flying above the clouds.
But then I land again, where I don’t feel I belong anymore, and I get restless and dispirited and I all I can think about is finding that focus again, where I feel I am heading somewhere continuous, both personally and professionally. I know I’m on to it, but sometimes I forget that it takes time.
Back to the blog. It sort of has a life of its own.
I don’t think about who is reading it, although some people have confessed they do, they never comment or say anything about what I write. Maybe they feel excluded, since I’m mostly just rambling about myself anyway.
My hope was to bring out some sort of optimism. Maybe I have failed to do so. Maybe I should keep some personal matters to myself, as it has proved to effect my relationships with others. A friend that I considered one of my closest was very let down by one of my posts, and is currently not speaking to me. That hurts but more so, because of the circumstances around it.
I have tried for so long to please everyone but it’s not the first time my foolish honesty gets me in a sticky spot.
- Should I take more into consideration what I write about?
- What should I include, and what should I keep to myself?
- What consequences may my blog posts have, today and in the future?
I guess after 10 months of blogging I have reached a point where I ask myself:
- What do people think of my blog?
I welcome your feedback – in English or Swedish! Whoever you are… 🙂
And if I haven’t told you before, I am grateful for you, taking your precious time to read, what little me has to say.
i just love the way you write, the emotions, the truth, the naked soul.
its all lost in cape, and im trying to find it back again, as i feel lost somehow. so, its not just u, if that helps? think its for all of us..) puss!
i dont think u should change anything. keep it up baby, its damn good!
(and the creativity that we were surrounded by in cape, is far away im afraid. haven taken any pics since i got home..
Thanx darling!!
You know I dig your photography!! Too bad you don’t feel inspired at the moment, you were on such a roll! I love your new website! “deep- & bullshit”…that’s so you, haha! But why isn’t there a way to comment on the stuff?? Huh?
Anyway, I do find comfort in your words and let’s keep up together! 🙂
Love from up “upstairs” PUSS!
it is poss to comment, but its a bit tricky.. 😉 u have to click on the title…
lets rock darling, and pussar from faaar down.. moving on sunday!
I read your blog regularly because I appreciate to read a personal experience, whatever that experience is. Lots of people, and myself as well, don’t write anything personal or too deep in blogs, maybe out of fear or revealing any true feelings. Your feelings and your thoughts are what keep your blog interesting. Sometimes I can relate to some of them, sometimes not so much, but that’s what’s fun about it. It comes from the heart. If it didn’t it would just be mumbo jumbo and lose interest.
So, to conclude, keep it as you have till now. Of course when it comes to personal relationships, you should be careful who you include in your blog. Some aspects might be sensitive to other people, but if they get offended by your opinions, maybe they are not such good friends after all!
So, basically, keep going!
Wow, thank YOU!! Have you noticed that I steal some of your music vids?? *smile* You got such good taste! I meant to recommend another very up-to-date music blog to you;
http://ilistentoeverything.com/
I’m glad you like my personal writing and I appreciate your input!
“See ya” 🙂
1. I love your blog. (Who wouldn’t? Only people without taste, obviously!)
2. “I guess I don’t consider my old friends being interested in what I write. At least, they never tell me so.”
I completely understand this statement. Hardly any of my actual friends know about my blog. I figure most people aren’t interested in what I write, let alone my friends. They aren’t the reading type, really. LoL But they love me! And I love them!
3. You’re fabulous!
I think I’m blushing over here…thank you!! 🙂 Good point on the old friends statement. I do love my friends and I don’t need them to read my blog to know that! 🙂
I read your blog too and I relate to a lot of what you are saying, we seem quite similar in a way! Except readheads are cooler!
I think you should share it with your friends…just an opinion.
I’ve had the same feelings and I find that when I write for other people the posts just really aren’t that great. Write honestly…even if it means you’ll piss some people off. It’s the best writing…and those of us who like a good read appreciate it.
Here…I wrote this once when I was feeling like I needed to fit a mold. (I still have to some extent…being the well-spouse (I hate that word) in a cancer home.)
http://thirty2nds.wordpress.com/2009/04/06/authenticity/
I like your blog. When you’re happy and you write that way…great. When you’re not…and you write that way…go ahead. No one says you have to post it.
The blog world is filled with happy people…or they’re trying to be.
Do what you do…it’s the best way to be. (And clearly writing is a part of you.)
A
Thanks for commenting! My aim is definitely to be “authentic” when I write, and hopefully both old and new friends “recognize” me. If they discover some new sides of me, I welcome that too. It’s an ongoing process!
My best wishes and good strenght to you and your wife!!
Hej! Jag instämer med tidigare comentatorer, och tilläger mine egna reflektioner.
Jag käner igen mig själv i så mycket och det gör mig glad för då finns det fortfarande hopp. Ur mitt perspektiv måste man i alla fall försöka vara ärlig både mot sig själv och andra.
Jag vet att det kan såra om man är ärlig men jag tycker ändå att det är den enda vägen att gå i det långa loppet. Om det vore så att alla gick runt på tå och inte ifrågasatte sig själv och andra så tror i alla fall jag att livet skulle stanna av och man skulle stelna i någon konstig stereotyp.
Den positiva livssyn som du har vill jag att du håller fast vid.
Det behövs både ris och ros här i livet. Om vi mäniskor inte ifrågasätter vår omvärd på ett positivt sätt så blir tillvaron bara en grå vardag utan variationer.
Fördelen med att saker och ting blir “jobbiga” är att man kan värdesätta dom bra stunderna mycket mer.
Utan dåligt väder är det svårt att uppskatta den blå himeln och havets kluckande mot klipporna. Det måste finnas mörker för att jag skall värdesätta ljuset. Utan kyla blir det ingen värme.
Alla skall tatillvara dom förutsättningarna som finns där ute på bästa sätt.
Så fortsätt skriv och tyck vad du vill.
Kram o lycka till
Pappa
Tack pappa!!
Det är ju uppenbart att jag har fått den här självreflekterande sidan från dig! Du borde ta upp ditt eget skrivande!
Kul att du känner igen dig i det jag skriver, men vissa saker förändras väl inte så mycket (livet)
Jag ska fortsätta blogga så länge jag tycker att det är inspirerande och givande, och du får säga till mig om jag börjar tappa greppet om den positiva livssynen!
Lycka till själv! Sydafrikas hav och berg väntar på dig!
Älskar dig, alltid!
Din dotter
Hi Inwardsun! This is my first visit to your blog and I am already in love with your writing style and what you have to share. I found you through a comment you left for Akoehen about the book “Conversations with God”. I was intrigued so got the book and see what you mean….its amazing and I would like to hear more of your thoughts on it.
Welcome Barbara and thank you!
The CWG books are MINDBLOWING! I have been wanting to share my thought about them since I read them, about a year ago (perhaps one of the reasons why I started the blog…) but I just haven’t because they are so ongoing…everytime I pick up the books and read a few lines, I discover new meanings in them, which proves the entire basis of the books; that its not a conversation with “God” but with yourself (and then we can go on forever with reflecting about that very statement…) I will most definitely write about them though.
Thanks again for dropping by!! 🙂
Speak from your heart, be the honest you, and continue write these beautiful lines.. Some reasons why you are my special best friend! 🙂 Love.