Days of our lives

The sun doesn’t set in an explosion of gold where I am these days. It more likely fades in pink and disappears. Truthfully, I know the sun makes nothing different from day to day, but the way I see it, from my limited viewing point, it looks that way.

I’ve felt everything has been so far lately, reaching out my hand for something that just slips through my fingers. I’ve been looking so far ahead, I’ve missed what is right in front of me.

I could not see the forest, for all the trees, sort of.

Made me wonder what we hold on to.

I know, today, this is what I embraced:

My brother – Woke me up twice asking if I wanted eggs for breakfast. I was moody and tired because I hadn’t slept properly. But brothers and sisters have breakfast while watching “Days of our lives” and potential disputes dissolves.

My Italian teacher – I sent him an e-mail this morning, to thank him and his wife for the lovely dinner and garden party we had a week ago, where he lent me his favourite Panama hat, put his hand over mine and told me he keeps young from our friendship. He also told me I would inherit his entire Italian book collection if I continue to study the language. I hope he remembers that after all the wine and grappa we had.

My friends – Today I talked to Lorena, my sunflower, for an hour. I also sent a long e-mail to my childhood friend Madelene, and Britta called while she was working, like she always does. I had a beautiful chat with Danika, a South African woman who I met on my Garden Route trip.

She asked what I believe is the key to true happiness.

I said self love.

She told me everyone she asks, give different answers.

I thought, maybe that explains why we are searching.

Words – Are for me, peace found among letters. I went into a book shop, flipped a little, read bits and pieces, stopped myself from buying any (should finish one first), looked at the covers and let the creativity in the store surround me.

Music Lauryn Hill re-established herself today as the true goddess she is and proved that her songs and lyrics are eternal delight and faith, which is all I need.

Nature – A run along the river, in this new city I do not know, running faster than I could, in no direction at all, made me realize, life is made up by days like this. Days that look mundande behind the treetops, but really hold exceptional beauty – and unlimited potentials.

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From “The Miseduction of Lauryn Hill”

my world it moves so fast today

the past it seems so far away

and I squeeze it so tight that I can’t breathe

and every time I try to be

what someone has thought of me

so caught up, I wasn’t able to achieve

but deep in my heart the answer it was in me

and I made up my mind to find my own destiny

I look at my environment

and wonder where the fire went

what happened to everything we used to be

I hear so many cry for help

searching outside of themselves

now I know His strength is within me

and deep in my heart the answer it was in me

and I made up my mind to find my own destiny