When to hold on, when to let go

I look around my group of friends. One is married to her high school sweetheart and mother to a one year old. One found the love of her life in a Thai guy, another met her Australian-French-Malay soul mate in the middle of the Rio carnival turmoil. Lorena, who is Swiss-French-Italian just bought her ticket and is getting serious with her Capetonian boyfriend.

Seems like we travel far to get close to people…

When they talk about their partners and loved ones, there is a special shimmer in their eyes and sturdiness in their voices; there is just no doubt; they have met the person that they want to share their lives with.

But how can we tell, when we don’t even know what our lives will be like?

Is it not more accurately, that we meet the person that we want to share the present with?

Other friends of mine are experiencing the flipside of love; miscommunication, fear, sadness and frustration. Desires and needs. We come to those places in all emotional relationships, I think, as the great polarity slings us back and forth between the state of delight and darkness. To experience the elevation, we must rise from underneath. It takes energy but when we’re there it comes back multiplied.

The forces of love and fear are the forces that rule our world.

My girl friends turn to me for advice. I give them my honest opinion, my support and belief. I tell them all things come back to us. I tell them to keep the faith. That what’s meant to be will be. I tell them to always seek to be better, to make a better choice, to rise to the occasion, to risk the fact that the other person will choose another path. I tell them not to expect – but reflect, because love is a message and you are both the sender and the receiver.

I tell them to let go. I especially tell them that.

But then I see those friends, who are unmistakably happy in their relationships and I think, that maybe they wouldn’t be where they are if they didn’t choose every day to hold on.

Isn’t that the most beautiful part after all?

Letting go of ourselves.

Holding on to love.