Flashbacks and Fruit

New week, new home. This is the third in a month. But I like it here. I am sharing flat with a friend of mine. She is on and off on vacation so I switch between the couch and the bed. My suitcase of clothes is still unpacked on the floor. I have bought coffee, almonds, soy milk and asparagus soup. Always on the run.

I have been here before…

Flashback – 4 years ago. Me and my boyfriend are sitting on these cliffs, overlooking the bay of Vinterviken. We are eating freckled strawberries and we talk about life, what we want from it and where we are heading. A few years later, we headed in different directions.

That summer, I used to run past the gardens and the ecological café, around the pond and up the hill and down again to where we lived. I used to pass by this flat, where I find myself now.

I was running past my future life. How bizarre is that?

I work at the same place with the same people. I do the same thing and see the same customers. I slice watermelon and fill up bananas and sing to myself while I do so. I make mental notes to order beetroot and not forget the pineapple. I work 60 hours a week and I sleep not more than 5 hours a night. I probably look the same, but more tired.

So little has changed on the outside. So much is different inside.

Don’t get me wrong. This place is great to rest my head at and perfect for me now. It’s a busy job still no one is riding my back or asking me questions about what I really want to do. I need this space to plan my days and do my thing and the money that will allow me freedom next year.

Flashback – 1,5 year ago. I am on a fifteen hours flight to Cape Town. To my right there is Lorena, who doesn’t yet know she will be my best friend. I get that stirring feeling of excitement and it reminds me of snowflakes in a glass bulb so I write a poem in my journal that I call Whirlwind. It sums up my time in South Africa.

It is not windy enough here but I am happy.

I read today that love is about resemblance and passion is about diversity.

My life is made up by both.