Any way the wind blows

Days drift like clouds over the snow sprinkled mountains.

Ceaselessly, swiftly, aimlessly.

My thoughts are just as capricious. They grow from little streaks of white to heavy gathering chunks of grey. Once in a while rays of sunlight break through and shine on me, reminding me of why and how and when and who.

Me.

Right here, right now.

Oh, how I wish I could allow myself to live even more! But the restrictions of work, of things that need to be done and things that need to be repeated and remembered until they completely lose their meaning and become rain clouds that long to burst.

I nod and smile and make mental notes. To put the plates more to the right, or add a number of guests to the cabins. I issue fishing permits when really I wish I could be the one, alone there by the lake.

I want to live timelessly but here, everything needs to be planned.

It creeps under my skin. I feel unfocused and uninspired but I try to keep a clear head; I’ll have to save the emotions for later.

And hope the weather will have changed by then.