Sturdy up your heart

Sitting on the balcony in a summer dress, sipping on an afternoon drink. The white cotton drape of clouds are just brushing the edges of the mountain and the breeze is caressing my sunburnt skin.

My soul is beaming but my heart is getting ready to break.

I am feeling emotional and the fact that I am tired from too much drinking and too little sleep probably adds up to the thoughts that cross my mind.

It hit me today that I will leave in just two days. That this is “just a holiday”.

I know I have a way of romanticizing things and some might just think I am being dramatic. But do they know what it feels like to be let into paradise and thrown back out again? Do they know what it feels like to be in absolute bliss? The moments when time slows down, allowing you to really drink it in, to bathe in joy?

When I say paradise I mean right here and now. And when I speak about time I am aware that time doesn’t slow down or speed up, it is our awareness that does.

“Slow down. It’s Cape Town” the roadway sign proclaims.

And so I find myself meandering around, completely open to whatever the moment will bring. And perhaps because of that (and the fact that my friends are always out and about) life becomes easy and our only concern is whether we should watch the sunset from the mountain, the beach or from a bar.

I had a few drinks with Akim at Wakame the other day, and he reminded me that we are just here for a cup of coffee, that our experience is short and in our hands. And hearts.

So when I find this poem in a bookshop it speaks volumes to what I am feeling.

Take me to the places on earth that teach you how to dance, the places where you can risk letting the world break you heart, and I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again

Is your heart open? Have you ever risked breaking it? Has it been broken? I know mine has and I know if yours have too, you know there are only two options; to be grateful for what you experienced, and prepared for more pain, or regretful and closed up, and likely to never experience true joy again.

So sturdy up, sturdy up your heart.

(For the road is long ahead)