It could be about a job

Reset;
to clear any pending errors or events
and bring a system to normal condition or initial state

I’ve been in reset mode so many times for the last two years; it feels like my system has gotten stuck. I can’t tell anymore if I’m moving or standing still.

Maybe this is my normal condition? My initial state of life?

Maybe the very idea that I am going somewhere is holding me back?

Maybe I am going a little nuts?

In fact, a few days ago, my best friend Madelene and I were reflecting over plans, hopes and dreams, wondering how they could better manifest in our lives. We were asking ourselves what we really wanted, what we were doing wrong and why things were working against us. And then fear struck us, what if this was it? What if it actually wouldn’t get better?

And then we started laughing. Listen to us! People actually have real troubles, families to look after, work that needs to be done, bills that need to be paid.

We are so fortunate. And so unemployed.

It’s easy to get so caught up in your “personal development” that you lose focus of what’s right under your nose, which ironically is where the progress ends and begins. You become so blinded by your intention of walking that you miss the path.

Like trying to meditate by thinking of meditating. It just doesn’t work.


My dad was encouraging me yesterday:

Write a book! Become a journalist! Let your thoughts out!

My brother tried too:

Maybe you should work with something creative, like advertising?

Some still think I should go ahead with life coaching:

You are always so motivating!

Or pursue a career in human resources and recruitment:

You have a way of seeing potentials in people!

Others agree with me that studying again might be a good idea:

You could study from anywhere in the world, like Cape Town!

My grandmother thinks I should learn to settle:

You and your big dreams!

 

I just want to get off the reset button and press play.

So this has turned into a bigger thing than I imagined. I’ve gotten friends and family worked up.

On one hand, it’s just a job. Right?

On the other, it’s my life.

It’s a question of where I want to stay, where I want to go, how I want to live, who I want to live with, what gifts I have to share, what ways I want to express who I am?

But yeah. It could also just be about a job.